“In the discovery of secret things and in the investigation of hidden causes,
stronger reasons are obtained from sure experiments and demonstrated
arguments than from probable conjectures and the opinions
of philosophical speculators of the common sort.”

- Sir William S. Gilbert
(18 Nov 1836 - 29 May 1911)

http://math.boisestate.edu/gas/gilbert/gilbert_home.html

http://www.victorianweb.org/mt/gilbert/gilbertov.html

The song is replete with historical and cultural references, in which the Major-General describes his impressive and well-rounded education, but he says that his military knowledge has "only been brought down to the beginning of the century." The stage directions in the libretto state that at the end of each verse the Major-General is "bothered for a rhyme." Interpolated business occurs here, and in each case he finds a rhyme and finishes the verse with a flourish.^[1]

One of your posts today mentioned the NNHS class of Feb 1939. My mother,   Lorraine Grace Cornevin and her aunt, Katharine Beatrice Beaubian were both members of that class.

Aunt Katharine Beaubian Shupe died in Oct. 2001. She had one son, David Paul Shupe who graduated from Warwick in '64 or '65. I've lost touch with David, but I believe he lives in the Richmond area.

My mother, Lorraine Cornevin Johnson Rogers is now 91 years old. She lives at the Hidenwood in Newport News and has a boyfriend who turned 100 in July.

When I was growing up my mother was always talking about     Ava Gardner (24 Dec 1922 - 25 Jan 1990) and going to school with her. I never took the time to verify the story...but your posting today confirms that they were in the same class.

Peggy Sue Johnson Ritger Janke........soon to be back to Peggy Sue Johnson after 49 years.

   Thank you so much, Peggy Sue! Your story was so nifty on so many levels! It's always good to learn that our mamas were right all along! She sounds like a very interesting (and beautiful!) woman!

   And because we're in the business of reconnecting people, I'm sending you your cousin David's address and phone number in Chesterfield (which I found on www.whitepages.com) so you can give him a call or drop him a line.

   I also located this:

Published in Daily Press on October 19, 2001.

   Hey! That looks a LOT like your grandson, Pier Dick, Eleanor!  I suppose there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for that...

   Thanks, Lady! Go, Pier!

     Just what I need! No, wait a minute - I'm not going out in that snow! Me heap big chicken!

Sweet Potato Casserole

3 C cooked mashed sweet potatoes
2 eggs, beaten
1/3 C butter
1 C sugar
½ tsp salt
1 C milk
1 tsp vanilla

TOPPING
1/3 C butter
1/3 C flour
1 C brown sugar
1 C chopped pecans

Melt butter in microwave. In a large bowl, mix together sweet potatoes, butter, eggs, sugar, salt, milk, and
vanilla. Place in a 9 X 13 in pan. Bake at 350* F for 35 minutes.

Crumble topping ingredients together and sprinkle all over sweet potatoes. Bake for an additional 20 minutes.

                                                                                                                          ~ Susannah Butikofer
 

By George Harris

Communication is one of the most important aspects of our lives that, ironically, many of us pay the least attention to. Regretfully, the main reason is that many of us have never been taught how to communicate in a way that benefits us and the person we are communicating with.

From the moment we wake up in the morning until we go to bed, we are communicating, first with family, then with coworkers, neighbors, friends, and so on.

We communicate either verbally, through our spoken words, or nonverbally, through eye contact, body language, and touch as well as through our thoughts, feelings, and passions. It has been estimated that only about 20 percent of our communication is verbal, and the rest is nonverbal. It is important, then, to pay attention to all the nonverbal clues we express to people as they speak more than the words we say.

For example, most people can remember when they were children and "the look" their parents gave them that expressed much more than words would.

Imagine if our communication with our spouses was clearer so that we knew how to express our feelings and ask for what we wanted--and we were heard. What if we, as parents, communicated from a place of personal power inside ourselves, expecting our children to listen and cooperate without having to yell?

Through verbal and nonverbal communication we let people know who we are, what we want, and how we feel. Therefore communication is one of the necessary building blocks for creating a solid and successful family environment.

Here are four steps that will enhance communication with your family.

1. Expressing Our Wants and Feelings
We all have wants and feelings. Once upon a time, in our youth, it was all right for us to want, and more so, it was even necessary for us to want. But many of us had parents who told us no, we could not join the big kids in the street, we could not ask for money or play with a certain thing, and that we asked too many questions. So "no, you don't want that" became the mantra of our lives.

How many times did we hear statements such as these: "don't argue with me"; "if you want to cry, I'll give you something to cry about"; and so many others that taught us to stuff our feelings and shut up. No wonder we have a hard time expressing ourselves.

This transfers into our adulthood to our spouses and children. When we do not get what we want, we tend to blame and attack others, causing upset and a belief that relationships are hard. In order to improve our ability to communicate and therefore improve our relationship with our family, we need to understand and release any emotions like anger and resentment and the belief that we are going to upset someone by stating our wants. It is when we release these that we can express our current wants and feelings, and we can then hear the wants and feelings of our spouses and children.

2. Making Others Right
Any time we make negative comments to people about something they are doing or about a feeling or thought they have, we are making them wrong for who they are. This is called projection: the tendency to unconsciously place onto others our own undesirable ideas and impulses.

How can you tell if you are projecting? The easiest way to know is if you are judging. How many times do you judge your spouse or your children for actions they take or feelings they have? No one wants to be ignored, accused, or made wrong. Think of someone right now that you have done this to. What was his or her reaction?

When we project, we think they are undeserving of our love or caring. Truly, the place to start letting go of judgments is within ourselves. The more we release our own judgments about ourselves, the less we project them onto our family members. We can then make them right and see them as important, having value, and being okay for who they are because we have seen that about ourselves.

3. Listening
What does listening have to do with communication? Why is listening so important? Listening allows us to get information, to learn about someone, and to understand another's feelings.

Research has shown that people are listening only 25 percent of the time and that they make up the rest of what they think they hear. Therefore the nonlistener does not learn what there is to know, and the relationship becomes a classic lose-lose situation.

There are many reasons why we do not hear what other people are saying. Some of them include talking too much, being too consumed with our own opinions, thinking we know a lot more about something than the person talking and planning our remarks and actions before the other person finishes.

A good listener gives his or her undivided attention, asks questions without interrupting, does not judge until comprehension is complete, sees things from all points of view, and, especially, exercises the mind.

4. Having Agreements Instead of Expectations
Since we have not learned positive ways to communicate due to holding back our feelings and not asking for what we want, we end up having expectations of others. We feel as if they can read our minds and know what we want without having to express it.

Expectation is defined as "a prospect of future benefit." Because of this desire for a future benefit, we habitually deprive or withhold something desirable from ourselves for some outward goal or the love of someone in our lives. This is referred to as Sacrifice. For example, you think, "I will do this certain thing for my spouse, and when I do, she or he will love me more for it." Another example is thinking "I will pick up my child's toys, and he or she will learn from that and then pick up his or her own toys."

We also have expectations of ourselves based on what we think others want of us, and they become shoulds; examples are "I should be a better parent" or "I should be happy around my spouse all the time."

Because of fears we carry within ourselves about relationships and asking for what we want, we hold these expectations as a desire or a hope, wanting them to come true. We then sacrifice ourselves with these expectations, depriving ourselves of our wants. We become angry and disappointed when they do not come true and then feel guilty for having expressed the anger. In reality, we are angry with ourselves for not speaking up and asking for we want and need.

To resolve this, we need to observe when we run our lives by shoulds or expectations and instead then communicate to others our desires and make agreements with each family member.

Successful family relationships depend on how well we communicate. By using these tools, you will learn how to listen and communicate with each other. You will empower yourself and your family members. And you will create more joy, love, and peace in the family household.


About the Author:

George Harris is a relationship consultant and the owner and facilitator of the Family Living System, which is a system of proven effective tools and techniques to enhance the quality of experiences in all relationships. George teaches parenting and couples' courses as well as giving motivational talks, seminars, and other training programs for families of all kinds, including those at the workplace, offering tools for everyone to learn to Be whom they need to be in creating the relationships they want in their lives. He is committed to sharing his knowledge and vast experience with others who desire more effective and fulfilling relationships. To learn more, please visit his Web site at http://www.familylivingsystem.com or e-mail him at famlivsys@spinn.net.

** This article is one of 101 great articles that were published in 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life. To get complete details on "101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life", visit http://www.selfgrowth.com/greatways3.html

I said, "No", and they said, "Go look outside!"

I hurried to the door, and called my family to come and look. Someone had left a beautiful Christmas tree in our front yard.

A few minutes later, the phone rang again. The child's voice said, "Do you have a Christmas tree now?"

I said, "Yes! Thank you!"

They giggled and hung up.

It still brings tears to my eyes to remember this experience.....

****************************
FlyLady here: This is what this season is all about. I needed to hear something nice today. This story brought tears to my eyes.