Thanks so much, Jimmy! This is simply fabulous!

And Woman gained pounds.

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."

And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese.

And there was ice cream for dessert.

And Woman gained pounds.

And God said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak in the restaurant so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained pounds, and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."

And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also.

And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol.

And Satan saw and said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.....

And Satan created HMOs...

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Handy Hints

Hint 1:

Have you ever left water in a glass vase too long, and a brown stain then forms? The easy way to remove the stain is to pour vinegar into the vase just above the stain mark and let it sit for a few hours. Then add 1 tsp. of uncooked rice, and place your hand on top of the vase and shake, shake, shake. The vinegar helps lift off the stain, while the grains scrub away any residue. Once done pour liquid and rice out, and rinse.

Hint 2:

Washing makeup brushes keeps your skin clear and lengthens the life of the brushes. That doesn't mean you have to invest in a special makeup brush cleaner though. You can get similar results with a gentle shampoo. Mix one part shampoo to four parts water, swirl the brush in the lather, then rinse with cool water. Let the brushes air-dry overnight.

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RANDOM TIDBITS

The first state to require license plates on cars: New York, in 1901.

The first car to offer seatbelts: the 1950 Nash Rambler.

Best-selling passenger car ever: Toyota Corolla. At least 30 million have been sold since it was introduced in 1969.

Raised-bump reflectors on U.S. roads are called Botts' Dots. (Elbert Botts invented them).

The little statue on the grill of every Rolls Royce has a name: "Spirit of Ecstasy."

The slowest time for car dealers is just before Christmas.

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5 Barricades

There are 5 barricades that everyone must overcome in order to attain their life's lessons, they are:

1. Money

2. Ego

3. Time

4. Distance

5. Fear

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The Bargain

During one of the many battles of the era, a young soldier found himself and his army being soundly defeated by the enemy. He and his comrades hastily retreated from the battlefield in defeat, running away in fear of their very lives.

The enemy gave chase. The young man ran hard and fast, full of fear and desperation, and soon found himself cut off from his comrades. The soldier eventually came upon a rocky ledge containing a cave.

Knowing the enemy was close behind, and that he was exhausted from the chase, he chose to hide there. After he crawled in, he fell to his face in the darkness, desperately crying to God to save him and protect him from his enemies. He made a bargain with God. He promised that if God saved him, he would serve Him for the remainder of his days.

When he looked up from his despairing plea for help, he saw a spider beginning to weave its web at the entrance to the cave. As he watched the delicate threads being slowly drawn across the mouth of the cave, the young soldier pondered its irony.

He thought, "I asked God for protection and deliverance, and He sent me a spider instead. How can a spider save me?"

His heart was hardened, knowing the enemy would soon discover his hiding place and kill him. Soon he did hear the sound of his enemies, who were now scouring the area looking for those in hiding.

One soldier with a gun slowly walked up to the cave's entrance. As the young man crouched in the darkness, hoping to surprise the enemy in a last-minute desperate attempt to save his own life, he felt his heart pounding wildly out of control.

As the enemy cautiously moved forward to enter the cave, he came upon the spider's web, which by now was completely strung across the opening. He backed away and called out to a comrade, "There can't be anyone in here. They would have had to break this spider's web to enter the cave. Let's move on."

Years later, this young man, who made good his promise by becoming a preacher and evangelist, wrote about that ordeal.

What he observed has stood by me in times of trouble, especially during those times when everything seemed impossible:

"Where God is, a spider's web is as a stone wall.
Where God is not, a stone wall is as a spider's web."

~Author Unknown~

   Thank you, Shari!