WOWZERONI!!! This is WAAAY cool! Thank you, David!

Resignation Letter.

Dear Boss:

I'm resigning effective immediately!

The reason for my resignation is that I cleaned my aunt's garage this morning before coming to work
and realized I don't feel like working anymore.

See for yourself...

A blessing is coming to you in the form of a new job, a house, marriage or financial break through.

Don't ask questions just forward.

This is a money angel.

Pass it to 6 of your good friends or family and be rich in 4 Days.

Pass it to 12 of your good friends or family and be rich in 2 Days.

I am not joking. You will find an unexpected windfall.
 

"Hope springs eternal in the human breast;
Man never Is, but always To be blest:
The soul, uneasy and confin'd from home,
Rests and expatiates in a life to come."

- Alexander Pope,
An Essay on Man, Epistle I, 1733

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JOKES

My grandmother told me how she ended up marrying Grandpa. She was in her 20s, and the man she was dating left for war.

"We were in love," she recalled, "and wrote to each other every week. It was during that time that I discovered how wonderful your grandfather was."

"Did you marry Grandpa when he came home from the war?" I asked.

"Oh, I didn't marry the man who wrote the letters. Your grandfather was the mailman."

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"Some people's parents actually gave them sage advice, like, 'Do what you love, and the money will follow,' or 'The early bird gets the worm.' All I remember my father telling me is, 'Don't fill up on bread.'"

-Ophira Eisenberg

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So True!

It can take only a second to get someone to dislike you by a cruel word or insulting action; whereas, it can take a lifetime to make a true friend and undo a wrong.

- JWD -

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Wisdom Tip

Do what you want!

$100,000 dollar income would be nice wouldn't it? But that doesn't make a person happy, in the end, only you can make yourself happy, so do what you want as a job, and if you like it you will succeed in life. You might not die a millionaire but you will at least die a happy person.

By Colin C Barrett from Glen Ellyn USA.

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Facts

It is illegal for a cab in London to carry rabid dogs or corpses.

It is against the law in France to sell a doll with a face that is not human.

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The Bent Antenna

I have a six year old luxury car that has given me nothing but satisfaction since the day I bought it. If it has given me any trouble, it was very minor, and even better, it was covered by the warranty.

I would very highly recommend this model of vehicle to anyone who's in the market for a virtually trouble-free car.

I know that it's improper to place too much value on material possessions, so you will have to excuse me when I tell you that I absolutely love this car.

It is very well kept, the interior leather is still very clean, the mats are not soiled and dirty, it gets a hand wax job every few months, and the engine still hums like a mockingbird. I've had absolutely no complaints, until recently...

I was hurriedly leaving home early one sunny Saturday morning. My haste resulted in some significant damage being inflicted on my car.

I didn't realize that my garage door had only released half way.

As I backed out of the garage, I broke my antenna on the incompletely opened garage door. There was enough room for the entire car to go through, so it wasn't until I was completely out of the garage that I saw that the door hadn't opened all the way.

It was also at that moment that I realized that the loud scrubbing noise I had ignored only a few seconds earlier was my antenna being attacked by the garage door.

My antenna was horribly mangled. What significant damage!!

It may not seem significant, but it is.

The purpose of a car antenna is to receive radio signals.

Without an antenna, no signal can be received.

Now, when my antenna goes up, it makes a very noisy, grinding sound. It sounds like a jackhammer trying to break up asphalt.

It's as though the antenna takes on the same human-like stubbornness when someone is made to do something that he/she has no desire to accomplish.

When the antenna goes down, it's noisy. Again, it's displaying its resistance to perform the duty that it was designed to do.

Not only that, it won't even completely retract so I end up driving around with a bent antenna.

Bent antennas and luxury cars are not a desirable combination.

Once I saw the damage to my car antenna, it was easy for me to see how sometimes our built-in, innate antennas, our source of direction, can show the same signs of damage that my physical antenna suffered.

How's your antenna?

All of us have them, you know. Sometimes we refer to them as that "something" that "told me".

It's that little nudge that makes you think twice when you're in doubt about something you are about to do.

Do you receive sound advice and guidance grudgingly and unwillingly? Or do you welcome it cheerfully and happily, and then act on it?

Do you go around bent out of shape?

Does even the slightest "scrub" totally disrupt your day?

Does friction from another source cause you to react with an equal, but opposite, reaction?

Or do you produce the same friction?

A bent, grudging, disobedient antenna is worse than no antenna at all. If I had completely severed my antenna, at least I wouldn't have to worry about its reluctance to extend and receive.

There would have been no signal to receive, and I could plead ignorance. But my bent, damaged antenna offers no excuses, because I can still hear all the radio stations. My antenna just doesn't make it easy for me to enjoy them.

As a result, I choose to keep the radio turned off altogether. That way I don't have to hear that irritating noise as the antenna reluctantly extends.

Does it take a while for your antenna to go up, when it should be active and receptive at all times?

Your antenna is always working, always willing to pick up the signal that offers the guidance that you're looking for.

That's what it's there for.

Learn to trust it.

~A MountainWings Original by C. Elijah Bronner~

from The Mountain:

This issue was written approximately ten years ago. C. Elijah bought a new car recently but still kept the old one with 380,000 miles on it to give to his daughter. It is still running great.

   Thanks, Shari! I hope you're feeling all better now!

I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye....

2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62.

My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."

The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"

I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?''

"You're both old," he replied.

6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor... She told him she was writing a story.

"What's it about?" he asked.

"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued.

At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!"

8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.."

9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure."

"Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised "Mine says I'm 4 to 6."

10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."

The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said. "How do you make babies?"

"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher.

The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."

The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.

"Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."

12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties.

"They use him to keep crowds back," said one child.

"No," said another. "He's just for good luck."

A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived.

"Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."

14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!

15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.

SEND THIS TO OTHER GRANDPARENTS, ALMOST GRANDPARENTS, OR HECK, SEND IT TO EVERYONE. IT WILL MAKE THEIR DAY!

   GIGGLES! Thanks again, Joyce!